Grace Remains

This past week I was home in PA. It was a nice chance to process and let my brain catch up with the rest of my body.  Plus the warm winter weather and soft bed almost made it a vacation. However, the reason I was brought home was not a happy one. On Saturday January 28, 2012 my Grandma went to be with Jesus. I specifically say ‘went to be with Jesus’ because I know that is what she did. I also know that nothing could be better for her. Jesus took away all her pain and sickness; he gave her a new body and reunited her with her friends and family who went before her. I found this out Sunday the 29^th; then flew home Monday the 30^th. Her viewing was on the 1^st of February and her funeral was on the 2^nd. It sucked. She was an amazing woman, and I’m not sure how to deal with loosing her. While I was at the funeral it was interesting to see all the people she affected. One lady, from G-ma’s Sunday school class, came up to me and told me about how G-ma discipled her and never gave up on her. It was soo interesting to realize that on top of all her other skills she was also a missionary. That’s what really convinced me I had to finish my DTS. I can’t wait until the end of summer when I get to go through all her books and digitalize them for the whole family to have.

Anyway, if you only get one thing out of this blog post let it be this:

God really has knowledge and control over ALL things.

I know this because of everything that had happened to/with G-ma while I was at DTS and the fact that God gently lead me through it.

August 2011: The last goodbye

I clearly remember getting my first warning when I said goodbye to my grandparents before leaving for DTS. It had either been a long day at work or it was going to be. All three of us were tired so G-ma suggested that we all just rest for a while. So with me on the blue couch- that they have had pretty much all my life, G-ma on the pink chair- again older than I am, and G-pa on his special chair we rested/slept. This is the part that drives me nuts. As we were sitting there I had a thought go through my head. It was “this is a strange way to say our last goodbye.” It kinda freaked me out and I tried to convince myself that it wasn’t the last time. But deep down inside I felt something- probably God and I thank him for the peace he gave along with it- say “what if it is?”

September 2011: The letter that said it all

Now I’m at my DTS. We had a speaker come one of the weeks that month and talk about having a life long relationship with God. One of the days, probably the only day he gave us notes, he gave us guidelines for maintaining a growing relationship with God for the rest of our lives. As he was talking I knew every word was true because my Grandparents had been doing them their whole lives. And so, I decided to write them a letter about it and thank them for being such a great example for me. There was some other stuff in it too, but I don’t remember.

November 2011: The diagnosis

I’ll keep this simple. Around the beginning of November I was told the G-ma had a tumor. About a week later I was told it was cancerous. About a week after that I was told there was no cure and that the doctors were giving her 6-12 months.  Over this time I really didn’t know what to say to G-ma, I kept thinking about the letter and wasn’t sure what to do next. I also knew that God had warned me and when I got this news I felt like I knew it was coming.

December 2011: The choice to go home

Things didn’t really get better. In December I got an email from home saying that things were not looing up and if I wanted to come home to see G-ma before she died I could. This was the hardest part yet. I believe that there was a reason I was warned, there was a reason why I wrote that letter, and there was a reason why God was holding on to me so tight. So I turned down the offer to go home.

January 2012: The final month

I was going to say this is when I decided I wanted to be at G-ma’s funeral, but it’s not. I made that decision months ago I just didn’t realize how soon the funeral would be. We all knew that coming home for the funeral would mean last minuet travel, but we decided to go for it.

January 22-28 2012: The final week

This is where I again saw God’s hand at work. He knew that time was almost up so he took the team and I to Berlin where I was close to the airport I would fly out of.

Tuesday Night I had a dream about G-ma. We saw each other and hugged each other and held each other and cried and said goodbye. The next day I found out that the nurses at the home thought Tuesday would be G-ma’s last night. It wasn’t but the dream was an interesting sign all the same.

Saturday night I had an emotional breakdown. Yup, right around the time that G-ma left.

Sunday I got the official news and booked my ticket.

Monday I flew home.

And that takes us full circle on the post.

~Bethany Graybill